My Depression

My Depression

My depression is not definable by a few words

It is not something I have any control of

 

My depression is the shadow that follows me

Coming and going as it pleases at a moments notice

 

My depression is being held hostage in insomnia’s arms every night

Until I have replayed everything I have ever done wrong in my life

Not to let go until I am buried under the weight of every mistake I have ever made

 

My depression is drowning in loneliness

It is falling asleep on the couch so I do not have to confront the empty side of my bed

But I am always dragged back to the empty side of my bed

 

My depression is suffocating in anxiety

Never being able to let fo for fear of going under

And every time I try to take a breath

My lungs are filled with worry and shame

 

And after all the explanation

My depression is something people still do not understand

But neither do I